Walls

Everyone has walls, everyone has some sort of lie protecting them. We set ourselves up so that we don't get hurt. Even the one person who seems to be an open book, they are hiding things, they are broken on the inside.

Someone can say something,and they may not think that it means anything. That will stick with you forever. Then after a while you have layers, layers upon layers of things unspoken about coated around you. These layers cut you off from people, they make you a separate entity. and they make others the same. We distance ourself from people so that we don't get hurt, and they do the same. Why don't we realize that it doesn't mean anything, it is there in everyone?

Why don't we tear through our own layers and expose ourselves? Well the answer to that is simple, so that we don't get hurt more, most of what we do as humans it to protect ourselves from getting hurt. Be that emotionally, physically, or any way at all.

I'm an onion
But so are you
pull off a layer from you,
and i will let you see through.

One of the best tactics for getting information is the give and get tactic, because it shows someone else that you trust them, and then in turn they will trust you. Trust really is easy to give, but it is so easy to break. I want you to think about something over the next couple days.

Maybe you are with your family, and maybe there is a big group of you. Most people are really open with there family, but not with their friends. Today may not be your day, tomorrow may not be your day, but maybe it is also not someone else's day. Try and open yourself up to someone that you may not normally, you may be surprised what they do.


Christmas Eve Has Come Again.

Tis the season full of family
fa la la la la la la la la la
Lots of alcohol all around
fa la la la la la la la la la
Drink until we all pass out
fa la la la la la la la la la


Maybe instead of drinking because your mother in-law drives you up the wall you should sit down with her and really talk see if she is really human too, maybe she is an alien, but isn't it worth a shot. All you will do is grow as a person.

JUST GROW SOME BALLS!

I say this a lot to people. "Grow a set."

I think as a generation, and as a populace as a whole we take life to seriously. When was the last time that you, excuse my language, grabbed life by the balls?

We live life in fear, in fear of being judged by others around us, in fear of regretting decisions, in fear of ourselves. Why is it so hard for us to figure out that everyone has the same feelings, that we are not exempt, or an exception to the rule. We are not a special case we are a part of the populace, and we are all part of the same thing.

It seems so easy to forget that we are not alone in this world, and that there are millions of people going through exactly what we are going through. It's way to easy to forget that those people also need people to stand behind them. You don't need a million friends to be happy. You need people who understand you, and who actually give a dam about anything that is happening in your life, because they know when the tables are turned you will be there for them.

We can't keep going around in circles, we can't keep having the same discussions. We have to get up off of our asses and get done what we have to get done. You take my back, and I will take yours, who cares what the hatters on the outside say, because they are also scared, and just waiting for someone to come and back them up.

I know sometimes you are scared, but you know what so am I.

Let's call it an obsession

Lightning strikes
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Just say so...

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all.

It's a heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking *shit* again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak.

It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.

Dan

You are always there for me, so this one is for you. You are my inspiration, and my world is a better place because of you. Thank you for making me love you everyday!


For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Lately

Been Listening to the Harry potter audio books, I love them <3.
As well for English i am reading Crow Lake, I am enjoying it, and I am hoping that it will continue to be as good as i think that it is.

J-Biebs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kffacxfA7G4&ob=av2e

So in this Justin Bieber video
just goes to a bowling alley and purposely harasses an ex- girlfriend, then he goes out into the lane in his normal shoes and dances. It is really quite disturbing the way he harasses this girl.

As i read the words you wrote last night!

I can see where you are
I can tell you're enjoying it so far
I would love to escape, but now I'm bound
by the of burn of your eyes
looking on as I'm starting to realize
I'm a pawn in your game and this is checkmate
as the roses lift their heads to catch a glimpse of my demise
you'll be throwing lies around like ocean waves throw down the tides
and they are breaking on my shore
and the rescue team won't save me now I'm out too far
so I'll waste these nights for a while
but I'll be holding onto you forever
and this is where my heart is cold and torn
as I read the words you wrote last night
the butterflies are creeping through my spine
it's a thrill I can't shake
yeah I know we've been writing a mistake
but it's hard to erase the feelings I've drawn
I was caught in an awkward silence
broken down by the sound of your prelude that you played
to open our symphony
I've been sleeping with the sunrise watching hours pass away
incidentally I'm just waiting for the dusk to kill the day
but now I'm waiting for your call
while I bang on this piano like you care at all
chorus
as I hear the words you're saying tonight
I'm falling for them every single time
as the roses dip their heads a little further to the ground
there's a season change and all the pinks and whites have turned to brown
will we make it through the fall yeah are we gonna make it through this fall
‘cause I don't wanna fall with you
I'm trying, we're dying, yeahhh
I'm taken by your hope-filled lines
they're well designed and dragging me along
I'll be waiting for this chance and I'll be gone

I was sitting on the train... oh wait, I am sitting on the train.
Travel,
what a horrible thing.

all you can really do is crank the tunes or take a nap.
the scenery flying by is beautiful. But there is only so many times you can see the same type of trees before you start to lose it.

I was sitting on the train... oh wait, I am sitting on the train.
Travel,
what a horrible thing.

all you can really do is crank the tunes or take a nap.
the scenery flying by is beautiful. But there is only so many times you can see the same type of trees before you start to lose it.

"There is no problem you cannot ignore, confront, plot against, drown in chocolate sauce, or run over with the car."

What I wonder is; is there really, no problem that you can't over rule with these things. You should try so too, because it might just make the big problems seem much smaller.

Been listening to a Sarah Dessen audio book, it is quite good. It is what made me think of the above quote while cleaning my room.

Woof Woof Woof

Taking dogs for forced marches, maybe i should start a company.
I have scratches everywhere. and I know exactly which one of the five dogs they are from, for the most part anyway.

Note to self:
Mellow dogs are a good thing.

Isolated

Do you ever feel so alone?
Like there is no one else out there but you?

Sparkles

Look in the mirror I sparkle.

Thanks for that Michelle. 1 shower later, i don't know if they will ever leave my hair again, it is almost like a "Edward watch your aim, how will i ever get that out of my hair?"

Fathers day.

Today is fathers day, and my brothers birthday.

One of my friends messaged me, he was feeling down. His dad is dead, that got me thinking i know several people who this day is very hard for, several people who don't have fathers, and one who shares this date as their birthday and does not have a father.

My loyal best friend died four years ago today in my mothers arms, she was a dog but in a tough time in my life she was my only friend. I want to pay five minutes of respect to her, so now that all the celebrating and thank you dads are done for the day, I am simply going to reflect on the ones i've lost from my life.

Face down the demons

Third Blind eye.

Jumper lyrics
Songwriters: Jenkins, Stephan;

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong

You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

Well, everyone I know has got a reason
To say put the past away

Wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

And well, he's on the table
And he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they are doing here

And your friends have left you
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know

Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today we can put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in and if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand, I would understand

I would understand
I would understand
Understand

Can you put the past away?
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
And I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
And I would understand

__________________________________________________________________________

Everyone has got to face down the demons.

Nick and Nora's infinite playlist

Why watch it when you can live it?

I don't live in manhattan and I wasn't out clubbing.

Exploring down town Calgary at an ungodly hour. by the time that you get to the car the song girls just want to have fun by Cindi Lauper is describing your life.

I am in trouble.

But keep listening to the music and it will continue to tell the story of your life.

What it now comes down to, is that you have a choice where I do not, you are the one who has the choice to go or stay.

What's it going to be?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Been watching old episodes of friends. I have not laughed so hard fir a long time, then I herd this

Joey: My agent thinks I should have a name that is more neutral.

Chandler: Joey Switzerland?

Joey: Plus you know it think it should be Joe, Joey makes me sound like thins big. Which I'm not.

Chandler: Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe Stalin?

Joey: Stalin? Stalin? that sounds familiar do i know that name?

Chandler: Well it does not ring a bell with me.

Joey: Joe Stalin. You know, that is pretty good.

Chandler: You know you might want to try Joseph

Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think he would remember that.

Chandler: Oh yes! Bye bye birdie staring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the fiddler on the roof.

I remembered watching this episode as a kid and not getting it when my parents are laughing. It just goes to show that as you get older you do start to understand the jokes.

Invisible

Today I realized something.

I realized it when a kid pushed into me shoving me into a garbage can.

I shouldn't have been surprised, because I realized something.

It made me want to cry.

I am invisible.

They can't see me.

I am the person in the class that you never know is there.

I am the one who you really cannot hear.

Invisible.

Alone all by myself in the back.

Quite and small in my desolate corner.

Invisible.

The power so many wish for I seem to posses.

No one talks to you when you are invisible.

No one notices you when your invisible.

the closest thing to not existing is invisible.

your my height, I was in front of you,

the only explanation is invisible.

Turn the corner and I am gone.

I am Invisible.

Sadness

Bad news comes from the wast. The grand fathers are out on the deck, the sick toll rising the morbidly ill getting sicker, the chance of survival minimal.

A challenge

I have water proof speakers for my bathroom, so today during my shower I was listening to sexy bitch. This is your Friday night challenge: When listening to sexy bitch in the instrumental part trying singing Eleanor Rigby-Beatles, let me know how it works out for you....

Song of the day: Because I just got it stuck in my head:

Bullet proof by La Roux.

Thought for the day: There are so many charities out there, what is the top one that you support? (not the top two or three or four... etc. The top one!)

Your not sure that you love me.

This first song is by the wreckers, i am listening to it right now.

Break up songs have been in my head all day, they are all so catchy.

Leave The Pieces lyrics
Songwriters: Austin, William D.; Hanson, Jennifer;

You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair, you know
To just keep me hanging 'round

You say you don't want to hurt me
Don't want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown?

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

Now you can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself
With this mess you left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you're gone

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

You're not making up your mind
It's killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go
Leave the pieces when you go
Oh yeah, leave the pieces when you go

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah
Leave the pieces when you go

This second song is fairly new, this is the Scripts Breakeven. I could put out many more, but just read the lyrics, every word then you can understand my week.

Breakeven lyrics
Songwriters: Frampton, Andrew; Kipner, Stephen; O Donoghue, Daniel John; Sheehan, Mark Anthony;

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no

What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no

What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no

What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I supposed to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)

Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no

I can't stop shaking, and I know that it is not the stress anymore. week- end is badly needed.

Better days- the goo goo dolls

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Watch Bones! It's as simple as that, it is addictive, and also people should watch Alice in Wonderland.

Returning home... it's always scary.

I returned home last week from a trip. Somehow when you go somewhere, for a while your opinions on the world change, everything seems to change.

A sadness has come upon me, it seems people have changed.

Time to move on, and make the changes to make myself happy.

Someday will these places I know so well no longer feel like home?

Sick... That is all....

Oh and it sucks.....

Maybe it's the Swine..... Oh Well.....

Exhaustion comes easily. I try to be peppy, but today was one of those days where everyone was cranky and I didn't want to deal with them, I didn't want to try and make them happy, I just wanted to be left alone. I don't get moods. Can we ever beat them?

When you feel like snapping at someone, what if next time you don't? Will it change you? Change is scary, but is it necessary?

Is this day over yet?

We go to school, work or what ever we do and by the end of it, don't you have to wonder, is this day over yet? Sometimes people suck, sometimes people change us.

Did you notice it? every time someone crossed your path today they left a mark on you.

Just smile.