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http://angstinside.tumblr.com/

I do!

You get me - Michelle Branch

So I'm a little left of center
I'm a little out of tune
Some say I'm paranormal
So I just bend their spoon
Who wants to be ordinary
In a crazy, mixed-up world
I don't care what they're sayin'
As long as I'm your girl

Hey, you are on my side
And they, they just roll their eyes

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
Yeah, you get me

So what if I see the sunshine
In the pouring rain
Some people think I'm crazy
But you say it's okay
You've seen my secret garden
Where all of my flowers grow
In my imagination
Anything goes

I, I am all you want
They, they just read me wrong

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and hold my hand, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
Still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
'Cause you get me

Hey, you are on my side
They, they just roll their eyes
Yeah, yeah, yeah

'Cause you get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
When none of the pieces fit
You make sense of it
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still I want you all the time
Yeah, I do
'Cause you get me
Yeah, oh, yeah, oh



I think the truth of the matter is, that there is someone out there that really gets me, and this song made me think of them.

naps

How many years has it been since I have had a nap in the middle of the day? I mean, other than when I am sick. I was sitting reading my book, and eating chocolates, and as I lay on my heating pad I felt tired, so I told myself,I could rest my eyes for a moment. I just woke up. This was two hours ago. I woke up feeling refreshed. That was nice :)

this too will pass.

Ever wish you could put something back in your mouth that you have said?
Sometimes I do, but sometimes I don't

everything happens for a reason, and everything to will pass.

Sometimes we have to live and let go, people say things they don't mean to say, but we really are all human.


I miss having someone around all the time someone who is always there, I have found a lot of that in my close friends, but I still never know when I say to much. People can turn around and hurt you on a whim, and I still have scars. Dan is the most amazing person, I can really depend on him. Sometimes it takes a long time to build a bond like that, but I hope that nothing trivial tears it down.

Sometimes we don't know that the things that we say will get back to people, but usually they do, and its a hard to put things back in your mouth once there out.

Be careful who you trust, and even more careful of who you don't.

keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

Blinded By The Light

Every day things happen, things that throw people off of the course that they thought they were on.

There are people in your life right now that you know really well, but what would it take them doing to change your opinions on them completely?

We get so wrapped up in the little things, only the bad little things I mean. If someone does a nice little thing for you, you will notice, but you will let it pass by, and maybe eventually completely forget. As humans, and especially we do this a lot. How many times have you stared at your phone wondering why someone hasn't called you, or more modernly texted, you back? Did you sit back and think about the last great compliment they gave you, or something that they randomly said that made you smile.

Imagine with me for a second that you are sitting there waiting for a message from your loved one, and an acquaintance of yours messages you, they don't normally message you, so you reply with your one word, or one sentence answers. Eventually your loved one gets back to you, and this other friend takes up even less of your mental capacity. STOP!

Why is this other person messaging you?
Are you normally a shoulder to cry on?
Do they need you?


and even better question is; are they ever there for you. Some people are born listeners, and some born talkers. But everyone sometimes needs to be the other person.

I am having a bad day, I woke up and got in a fight with my mom, then I spent almost an hour having conversations with someone who I don't really like, then the frantic angry messages started coming in, caught in the middle of a fight of two of my friends where I shouldn't be involved, but she is my best friend. I couldn't really get ahold of my boyfriend all day and when I did I seem to piss him off very easily, The pains in my arm are nearly unbearable today, even as I type this.And lastly I am stressed out about my exams, but people just keep brushing it off when I talking to them "i'm sure you will do fine..."(Now back to me)

I just was kind of wishing that I could talk to someone, but everyone seems in a bad mood today. Someone I'm sure will tell me tomorrow that I could have called them, but sometimes I just don't think to call people, I am afraid that if I tell them to much they will run away just like other wonderful people in my life.

I was talking to a girl I used to be friends with and her actual reason that she told me for why she couldn't deal with me was I said to much. I have thousands of her secrets, and I still ache to hurt her as bad as she hurt me.

People mess you up, they leave scars and they tear you up in ways you could never imagine, then we throw these walls up all around us and we barely ever take them down. I believe that all people are good, so why is it that I can still hate people and hold grudges as easily as I do?

Ponder this: We all have scars and we all have things going on that others don't understand, but when did you last break down someones wall to try and see them?


And I finish with this quote from the movie "Crash" because I think that it is so true of humanity.

"We're always behind this metal and glass, I think that we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so that we can feel something."

Ah English Class

Being inspired by english class I decided to rip apart one of my favorite songs and show a whole different side of it.

I’m Not The One - 3OH!3

You're way too young to be broken (You are to young to do dumb things)

You're way too young to fall apart (You are to young to have real problems)

You're way too young to play these games (You are to young to be manipulating people to your will)

But you better start (But you need to grow up)

But you better start (But you need to grow up)


This is when it starts (This is the beginning) 


From the beating of your heart to the street lamps talk to you (Metaphor: having delusions where you hear thoughts from intimate objects)

Jumping off of the edge or asleep in your head (Between losing your mind and not knowing what to do)

Everything's turning dark to you (The whole world seems to lose it’s purpose to you)

I went to pick the up the parts (I went to get the stuff that I knew would make you feel better)

The doctors hiding the charts (The doctor wont let me in on a little secret about you)

He won't let me see this side of you (He wont let me know what is wrong with you)

It's on the tip of my tongue You know you're way too young to have someone lie to you (I just about can grasp what is going on with you, and I am to young to have you lying to me about something like this)


I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)

I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)

You better find somebody else to get a hold of yourself (If you don’t want to trust me you better find somebody new)

I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)


You're way too young to be broken (Your way to young to be knocked up)

You're way too young to fall apart (Your way to young to be thinking about these things)

You're way too young to play these games (Your way to young to be playing with me)

But you better start (So you need to grow up)

But you better start (So you need to grow up)


It was the second I lit (I was the second I chose)

Your first cigarette (Metaphor: you first time)

I forget who you used to be (I saw you change but liked the new you better)

And I bit my lip (I didn’t mention anything)

The second you sipped, the poison that was mixed for me (Even though you took it upon you to destroy me)


I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)

I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)

You better find somebody else to get a hold of yourself (If you don’t want to trust me you better find somebody new)

I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)


Drink the poison lightly (deal with things in your toxic way)

Cuz' there are deeper and darker things than you (There are always worse things, and worse people than you)

I know, cuz' I've been there too (I’ve seen this all before)

I know it might seem frightening (I know that you are scared)

To have the world fall apart right under your shoes (everything seems to be falling apart right out of your grasp)

Trust me, you'll make it through (Trust me, I can help you)


I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)

I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)

You better find somebody else to get a hold of yourself (If you don’t want to trust me you better find somebody new)

I'm not the one (I’m not the one)

I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)


I'm not the one one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one ,I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)

I'm not the one one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one ,I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)


I'm not the one one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one ,I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)


I'm not the one one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one ,I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)


I'm not the one one, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you (I’m not the one ,I’m not the one who is going to hurt you when this is what is wrong)

Walls

Everyone has walls, everyone has some sort of lie protecting them. We set ourselves up so that we don't get hurt. Even the one person who seems to be an open book, they are hiding things, they are broken on the inside.

Someone can say something,and they may not think that it means anything. That will stick with you forever. Then after a while you have layers, layers upon layers of things unspoken about coated around you. These layers cut you off from people, they make you a separate entity. and they make others the same. We distance ourself from people so that we don't get hurt, and they do the same. Why don't we realize that it doesn't mean anything, it is there in everyone?

Why don't we tear through our own layers and expose ourselves? Well the answer to that is simple, so that we don't get hurt more, most of what we do as humans it to protect ourselves from getting hurt. Be that emotionally, physically, or any way at all.

I'm an onion
But so are you
pull off a layer from you,
and i will let you see through.

One of the best tactics for getting information is the give and get tactic, because it shows someone else that you trust them, and then in turn they will trust you. Trust really is easy to give, but it is so easy to break. I want you to think about something over the next couple days.

Maybe you are with your family, and maybe there is a big group of you. Most people are really open with there family, but not with their friends. Today may not be your day, tomorrow may not be your day, but maybe it is also not someone else's day. Try and open yourself up to someone that you may not normally, you may be surprised what they do.


Christmas Eve Has Come Again.

Tis the season full of family
fa la la la la la la la la la
Lots of alcohol all around
fa la la la la la la la la la
Drink until we all pass out
fa la la la la la la la la la


Maybe instead of drinking because your mother in-law drives you up the wall you should sit down with her and really talk see if she is really human too, maybe she is an alien, but isn't it worth a shot. All you will do is grow as a person.

JUST GROW SOME BALLS!

I say this a lot to people. "Grow a set."

I think as a generation, and as a populace as a whole we take life to seriously. When was the last time that you, excuse my language, grabbed life by the balls?

We live life in fear, in fear of being judged by others around us, in fear of regretting decisions, in fear of ourselves. Why is it so hard for us to figure out that everyone has the same feelings, that we are not exempt, or an exception to the rule. We are not a special case we are a part of the populace, and we are all part of the same thing.

It seems so easy to forget that we are not alone in this world, and that there are millions of people going through exactly what we are going through. It's way to easy to forget that those people also need people to stand behind them. You don't need a million friends to be happy. You need people who understand you, and who actually give a dam about anything that is happening in your life, because they know when the tables are turned you will be there for them.

We can't keep going around in circles, we can't keep having the same discussions. We have to get up off of our asses and get done what we have to get done. You take my back, and I will take yours, who cares what the hatters on the outside say, because they are also scared, and just waiting for someone to come and back them up.

I know sometimes you are scared, but you know what so am I.

Let's call it an obsession

Lightning strikes
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Just say so...

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all.

It's a heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking *shit* again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak.

It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.

Dan

You are always there for me, so this one is for you. You are my inspiration, and my world is a better place because of you. Thank you for making me love you everyday!


For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Lately

Been Listening to the Harry potter audio books, I love them <3.
As well for English i am reading Crow Lake, I am enjoying it, and I am hoping that it will continue to be as good as i think that it is.

J-Biebs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kffacxfA7G4&ob=av2e

So in this Justin Bieber video
just goes to a bowling alley and purposely harasses an ex- girlfriend, then he goes out into the lane in his normal shoes and dances. It is really quite disturbing the way he harasses this girl.

As i read the words you wrote last night!

I can see where you are
I can tell you're enjoying it so far
I would love to escape, but now I'm bound
by the of burn of your eyes
looking on as I'm starting to realize
I'm a pawn in your game and this is checkmate
as the roses lift their heads to catch a glimpse of my demise
you'll be throwing lies around like ocean waves throw down the tides
and they are breaking on my shore
and the rescue team won't save me now I'm out too far
so I'll waste these nights for a while
but I'll be holding onto you forever
and this is where my heart is cold and torn
as I read the words you wrote last night
the butterflies are creeping through my spine
it's a thrill I can't shake
yeah I know we've been writing a mistake
but it's hard to erase the feelings I've drawn
I was caught in an awkward silence
broken down by the sound of your prelude that you played
to open our symphony
I've been sleeping with the sunrise watching hours pass away
incidentally I'm just waiting for the dusk to kill the day
but now I'm waiting for your call
while I bang on this piano like you care at all
chorus
as I hear the words you're saying tonight
I'm falling for them every single time
as the roses dip their heads a little further to the ground
there's a season change and all the pinks and whites have turned to brown
will we make it through the fall yeah are we gonna make it through this fall
‘cause I don't wanna fall with you
I'm trying, we're dying, yeahhh
I'm taken by your hope-filled lines
they're well designed and dragging me along
I'll be waiting for this chance and I'll be gone

I was sitting on the train... oh wait, I am sitting on the train.
Travel,
what a horrible thing.

all you can really do is crank the tunes or take a nap.
the scenery flying by is beautiful. But there is only so many times you can see the same type of trees before you start to lose it.

I was sitting on the train... oh wait, I am sitting on the train.
Travel,
what a horrible thing.

all you can really do is crank the tunes or take a nap.
the scenery flying by is beautiful. But there is only so many times you can see the same type of trees before you start to lose it.

"There is no problem you cannot ignore, confront, plot against, drown in chocolate sauce, or run over with the car."

What I wonder is; is there really, no problem that you can't over rule with these things. You should try so too, because it might just make the big problems seem much smaller.

Been listening to a Sarah Dessen audio book, it is quite good. It is what made me think of the above quote while cleaning my room.

Woof Woof Woof

Taking dogs for forced marches, maybe i should start a company.
I have scratches everywhere. and I know exactly which one of the five dogs they are from, for the most part anyway.

Note to self:
Mellow dogs are a good thing.

Isolated

Do you ever feel so alone?
Like there is no one else out there but you?

Sparkles

Look in the mirror I sparkle.

Thanks for that Michelle. 1 shower later, i don't know if they will ever leave my hair again, it is almost like a "Edward watch your aim, how will i ever get that out of my hair?"

Fathers day.

Today is fathers day, and my brothers birthday.

One of my friends messaged me, he was feeling down. His dad is dead, that got me thinking i know several people who this day is very hard for, several people who don't have fathers, and one who shares this date as their birthday and does not have a father.

My loyal best friend died four years ago today in my mothers arms, she was a dog but in a tough time in my life she was my only friend. I want to pay five minutes of respect to her, so now that all the celebrating and thank you dads are done for the day, I am simply going to reflect on the ones i've lost from my life.